Rain. This is "winter weather" in Hawaii, but I guess that since it's now technically Spring, that makes it Spring weather, too! 

We live on the side of the island that tends to get more rain, hence, has more greenery too. While this seems to bother some people that it might be a little wetter and at times chillier/windier, I happen to LOVE it.

Is the worry that they're going to get their hair wet, the issue? 

As a curly-haired girl, this is not a problem I typically face. And since I have no major intentions of pulling out my oft forgotten hair straightener, which my husband probably threw away, I don't see that being an issue anytime soon. Let's be real, this is Hawaii and no one is majorly concerned with how primped my hair looks. I mean, I don't even regularly use a comb. 

But back to the ideas of rain and change. 

A year ago today (a lot happened this week last year!), I had my last day of work at a corporate clinical research job in the healthcare industry. I'd been there for just over three and a half years and while excited for our new endeavors, was slightly afraid that leaving my job in some way, shape, or form was a bad move. Thoughts a year later? Definitely the best decision. 

I'm idealist, yes and am totally aware of that, but my former career wasn't exactly focusing on the hands-on work that I wanted to be doing in healthcare. Did I get to travel, work on interesting clinical trials, and meet new people, yes. But did I get to work with patients on a daily basis and get to know their individual needs, definitely not. Was I doing that somewhere else in my day-to-day life? Yes, in the yoga studio. Am I corporate or management averse? No, but sitting in a cubicle doing work had worn its toll on me and had unfortunately contributed to some of my aches and pains. It's kind of sad to say, but I haven't had any of the consistent lower back pain that I used to, since then (knock on wood!). 

But, I still love the field of healthcare, always have, and always will. I've grown up with a Dad in the field and there has always been something satisfying and sort of magical for me about the hospital setting. 

Say what?

...Now you think I'm crazy. But really, even after the treatment I've gone through and the hours...no, days I've spent in the hospital, it just solidifies how much I want to be a part of the treatment team for others. Now, I'm all about variety of venues whether outpatient or hospice but that is truly where my heart lies. 

So, a year without a "formal job". Why Sarah, you must be going crazy? Well yes, at times I was but I also was teaching yoga before I got sick and have certainly been busy with other worries since then. But now, it's time to put the focus back on my plan. And I've moved forward my strategizing with gusto.

I'm going back to school. Yes, that thing that most people want to escape, I'm diving back into it. 

I'm starting next month with an online course and then will ease into on campus classes in the Fall (holding off on germ-immersion). I'll be working on my pre-requisites for DPT (doctorate of physical therapy) and in the process am planning (if accepted) to do a PTA (physical therapy assistant) program here. Why do that when the end goal is going to be DPT? Well, we're military and the stress of coordinating location of school applications/acceptance with the timing of our station change location is kind of cray-cray. In essence, we'd like to make life a little less high-stakes and more adaptable to our situation. Plus, I just really want to hit the ground running in the field of physical therapy. With the recent changes in direct access to PTs in 43 of the 50 states (so far), there are certainly a number of more jobs opening up. I'm not pretentious, and certainly don't consider this path as a step back but a chance to gain some great working experience before pursing the end degree. It feels right and after having the time to really think about what I want to do with my life and career, this incorporates a beautiful blend of my passions for both yoga and running. 

As I've grown up being told not to simply settle with what everyone else is doing, you should do what you love and love what you do.

A year ago today, I had the pleasure of marrying A. It wasn't a grand affair, no family was present, but it was perfect and I wouldn't have changed it for anything. I flew out to visit for the weekend, originally just to attend a formal dress event while he was in training, but a couple weeks earlier we decided just to go ahead and get married. Best decision ever, as we couldn't have anticipated what the months ahead would hold. "Through sickness and in health..."

Since then, we've spent a grand total of 101 days together or 27.67% of the year. 

There was the extended visit while he was in training, our family meet-up in Nashville, the first reunion in Hawaii, the "sick-Sarah" visits (two, for the record), and finally, the return of Sarah to Hawaii. So while being apart for over two thirds of the year has been extremely hard, it was also very bonding. We didn't have time to quibble over who's going to empty the dishwasher or who's responsible for the laundry, but we had plenty of time to talk and use FaceTime when our schedules allowed. My husband is a great talker, maybe not to the random strangers, but he certainly talked to me a lot over our time apart. And, lucky me was even frequently serenaded by his piano playing. (When I tried to get him to play for my parents he'd feign shyness but that never stopped him from being my personal pianist.)

I wish I could have prevented or changed the whole Sarah getting sick scenario, but honestly, the challenge probably just made our bond stronger. So, as we celebrate and look back on our first year of marriage on a mini-vacation in Waikiki, I am grateful and feel so blessed to have such a loving and deeply dedicated partner. Someone, who supported me in leaving my career behind and was by my side while receiving immunosuppressive therapy.

If this is the first year of marriage is like, I'm not worried. I only feel like I love my husband more, and we've already weathered a storm together.

Now we look forward to re-celebrating our bond with a wedding for family and friends.

A good friend is and is very soon expecting the arrival of her little bundle of joy. 
And something that I really adore, is that she asked family and friends to send along messages to her baby, sharing what we wish for him. Easy enough, but it took me awhile to get my head into the game...per usual, since my head has recently been focused on all things health and house related. 

But the other day at my favorite morning location (a coffee shop), I found the words I was trying to find. And you know what, it was honest and easy. All those things I wish for this beautiful, innocent little child, I also wish for myself. And while I was blessed to have grown up with very loving, supportive, and nurturing parents much like this little boy will have, I still have my demons and need to continue to choose me over them.

 Thus, it also seemed appropriate to write a little wish note to myself:


It is my wish to keep in mind a simple childlike sense of joy, curiosity, and courage to take on the world around me. 
I wish never to be one to take for granted those who love me and to never give up on my dreams, whatever the current detour may be.
I wish to keep in mind sound judgement and recognize when to take the world by storm and when I need to take a step back. 
I wish never to lose a sense of creativity and an appreciation of the natural world around me. 
I wish to always choose the walk or run outside over lounging by the television, given that my health permits. 
I wish to continue to learn throughout life, to love with my whole heart, and not be afraid of challenges presented to me.
And finally, I wish for life, love, and happiness to be present throughout it all.

What do you wish for yourself?

So I have to admit it, or re-admit it if you know me well, that I pretty much stink at taking things slowly. 
Prime example A: Last Friday morning, I woke up, fainted, and proceeded to hit my face on our kitchen table. Awesome. Luckily, A. was literally just in the process of heading out the door and heard the crash and my ensuing swear. So Friday morning ended up being really fun. I hit my nose and mouth on the way down, so we immediately iced and dealt with the blood (from my nose). We found a local dentist and were able to get fit in before they officially opened and schedule an appointment with my doctor for later in the day. Things look okay, but I'm still sore and just have to keep an eye out for any color changes on a few of my front teeth. I made the mistake of going for a walk/run (mostly walking) after 10 a.m. on Thursday that was both too late and too long of a solo walk for me. I really tried to hydrated the rest of the day but then probably didn't eat enough sustenance for dinner as a result.

Lessons/rules from this experience?
1. Hydrate like crazy. I am already really hydrating a lot, but we had a few days last week that were particularly hot and I think they may have got the best of me. 
2. Only go for fitness walks/runs early or late, as in first thing in the morning or in the evening. Hawaiian sun is genuinely brighter and more intense and can really do a number on you, especially if you are already sun sensitive. Exception to this rule is overcast/rainy days, when you can feel free to run/walk whenever.
3. Move slower, especially with transitions, from laying to sitting and sitting to standing. I move too quickly, no surprise. But my circulation and body movements don't always seems to be in harmony of speed, hence the fainting or more typically lightheaded/dizziness. 

So while, I feel a sort of "sun-shame", wanting to take advantage of this beautiful environment and get out there and be active, I'm still working on tempering myself. We've decided that I'll start using one of the base gyms during the day, so I don't have to worry about the sun factor (and where I'm geographically located) during a walk. Also, I'm awkwardly but very consciously (or trying to) considering my movements because I have a tendency to bump into things anyways. And while I'm dying inside to whip around our apartment and get everything spiffied up, organized, and put away just the way I want it...it's not going to happen overnight. I have to respect my body and back off on those times when it tells me to do so. Because really, I'm not into making these Friday events a continued weekly occurrence, nor is my husband. I even went against my own wishes and have taken a few days off from my handstand challenge, so we could make sure that I didn't have any more fainting surprises over the weekend. All in all, taking it slow is just going to be something I need to continually remind myself about, check in with, and be honest in doing. It makes me no less of an athlete or yogini for doing so, just a more thoughtful one.