Done(!)...with one semester that is, and it wasn't so bad. Instead, it was better than expected and in contrast to undergrad I felt like I was really on top of my studies, for the most part. What I didn't expected, was to have such great things come out of the experience. I made some good friends of a variety of ages and got to get involved in a volunteer program that I wouldn't be able do anywhere else. 

So here is my list of lessons and experiences from going back to school:

1. Start off with a bang because it makes the end of the semester soooo much better! What do I mean by a "bang"? Don't slack off at the start of classes when things may seem easier. You know that your classes are only going to get more difficult so try to put in effort from the start, so when the end of the semester rolls around you aren't freaking out over how many points you need to get on a final and you can actually enjoy your Thanksgiving break. Heck, you might not even have to take a final if you're doing well enough. 

2. Don't think you're going to be a geezer. This one goes both ways. I think I lamented being an "older student" when I first started, but found that besides some actually annoying 18/19 year olds, there are intelligent and interesting people of all ages attending college classes. While this is not the case everywhere, HPU has a surprisingly good mix of students of a variety of ages. I've become good friends with some people my age and older, as well as some, "ah-hem", a bit younger than myself. 

3. Take advantage of outside class opportunities, some of them are totally worth it! Don't worry if you think you're too old for these things, you aren't. Free guest speakers and volunteer events are even applicable to you. My anatomy and physiology professor is a marine biologist and she helps run a program that performs necropsies for research purposes on dead marine animals that get stranded on the Hawaiian islands. This opportunities was presented to our A&P class to observe or volunteer and when an opportunity arose one night to observe a necropsy after our evening class, a couple friends and I jumped on the chance. IT WAS AWESOME! Even though I don't see myself being a marine mammal physical therapist, it was a very valuable experience. It was an incredible opportunity to see what this group of researchers (professors and veterinarians) and students did, to ask questions, and to actually see marine mammal anatomy. Only in Hawaii could I, as a non-major/just taking some classes for graduate school, get this sort of opportunity. Well, we liked it so much that now my friends and I are part of the volunteer team. Looking forward to some more interesting experiences!

4. Sleep. (Maybe this should be number 1!) Don't pull all-nighters, they weren't worth it ten years ago and they still aren't worth it. You actually need sleep/rest after learning something to help store it in your long term memory. You only retain about 5% of the information you learn day to day unless you are able to trick yourself into learning more through mechanisms that positively impact memory transfer, so study more regularly instead of cramming. Which bring me to #5.

5. Stay on top of the homework. Do your readings, the online homework, the study guides. Even if you think they're silly, they are a form of studying and repetition (learning mechanism, hello!) that may make the exams at least a little bit less stressful. While my husband may have been annoyed that I spent time doing each and every one of these annoying little tasks, it helped, and because I do learn by repetition it further imprinted the ideas of lecture into application.

6. Participate. Now this one goes in a couple of directions. A.) Attend all classes (if possible) and B.) Ask questions and be active in discussions. Don't skip classes people, while I was not a saint in undergrad on this principle, it is important to go and it's especially important to me these days because I am footing the bill and sure as heck want to do well. Plus, when you are actually present in mind and body, it can impact your grade in a positive way. If you can get a 100 pts just by showing up, asking some questions, and doing practice problems in a discussion section, I'd say it's worth it to be there. 

7. Your grades actually matter. While as an 18 year old, you may or may not realize this. When you go back to school, it is a glaring fact to you. I NEED TO DO WELL OR THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE WORTH IT. While I did hear some people on the teaching side say it more important that you understand than get a good grade, yes, I agree. BUT, if you're going back to school, there's a reason you need to get or try for that "A" because it probably impacts your chance or choice of graduate school...and again, you're probably paying out of pocket for it. Let me just say that I'm not paying this much to get a "C" (and let's be honest, even a "B"). Getting into graduate school these days is truly an admissions game and I sure as heck want to make that game at least a little bit easier on myself with grades that show I understand the material.

8. Last but not least, HAVE FUN. What, why is this on here? Because it is. You still need to have some fun. Don't turn into a hermit or the grinch just because you have to study and can't be social 24/7. Schedule your time, make priorities, and enjoy your friends and family. I love my husband and I love where we live, so I make compromises to not be dead to the world every week just because I need to do school work. There is ALWAYS MORE that you can do, but sometimes it matters to just do what you NEED to. During the week, my priority is school and on the weekend at least one day is time spent doing things for fun and to get outside. This helps your sanity, keeps you healthier, and make sure your non-school friends know that you still exist. Don't be the hermit living in the library, nobody likes that.

While I sit here in the comfort of my desk, a high school reunion weekendis underway about five thousand miles away. Do I regret not being there? Yes and no. 

I knew that realistically the timing was just not going to work out, given that I just had a couple of exams and am in truly in the sprint to the end of the semester. Also, more importantly I knew that my significant other was in no way going to be able to come with....and what fun would a reunion be without having him around to meet people? 

So in lieu of shelling out a chunk of money to fly back to reminisce I took some time this week to do that all on my own. 

High school was both good and bad. 

When people nostalgically look back and say those were the "best days" of their lives, I always feel a bit sorry. Yeah, they were fun, I got to spend lots of time with friends, and not have the weighing obligations of adulthood, but they also majorly sucked.

In high school I kind of led a double-life. The me in school and the me at home. Wow, that sounds darker than I intended...But my point is that I was dealing with "real-life" a lot earlier than I would have liked to have.  

My brother committed suicide when I was a junior in high school, and the time before and after that event were generally pretty fraud with tension and dealing with a number of issues resulting from my brother's life. He was a very talented, charismatic, and loving older brother but he had an addictive personality. While sometimes it seemed that everything went right for me in life, it was the opposite for my brother in that he always seemed to get the blame. The reason I mention this now, is that Monday, November 10th was the anniversary of his death. Every year on his anniversary, until the tenth my parents have had a memorial blurb in the paper and a local lighthouse lit in his honor for the night. It's been a special way to honor his memory and really very comforting. 

I was the last person of my family to be with my brother. The night before, we went to see a scary movie with some friends and he dropped me off at home before driving around for a bit. He was always there to listen to me, but had a hard time letting himself freely admit to everything bothering him. While he'd state some things, he'd then deflect and try to lighten the situation or make a joke. The morning of his death, I was woken by my dad to try and help revive my brother and to call 911. He'd asphyxiated himself in the garage with my car. By the time the paramedics were there, there was no chance of successful revival. That is still singularly, what I consider the worst day of my life. 

It's still hard to specifically think about. 

Senior year of high school I was one of the selected graduation speakers and I ended my speech with a quote from one of his songs, "Don't forget about the past, what we shared will always last". And since then, his death has just been one of those things that lays dormant and then the memory pops up at random times. From graduations to weddings and recently, it haunted me with my aplastic anemia and a lack of a related bone marrow donor. I've long ago gone through the five stages of grief, so what do you describe these times of delayed emotion? It's anger and regret that he's missing out, missing out on who we've become as a family, the experiences that we're having and the happy events to come in the future. It's the mourning of a lost future and the wasting of such amazing potential that I think it helps explain why I am who I am.

So, I've had my own personal reunion this week, in between studying for two exams, with the memories of that time, those experiences, and that life that I had both publicly and privately. 

This morning I came across an email about bone marrow drives across the country and wanted to share. 

This Saturday on Yom Kippur, 75 Reform Jewish congregations from coast to coast will be hosting bone marrow registration drives. While you may be asking, why is this important? Let me just give you some background because by a swab of the cheek, you could literally save someone's life. 

For patients diagnosed with leukemia, lymphoma and other blood diseases and genetic disorders, a bone marrow or cord blood transplant may be their best or only hope for a cure. Yet 70% of patients who need a transplant do not have a matching donor in their immediate family, typically a blood sibling is needed. So these individuals depend on services such as Be The Match® and other support services to find a matching donor. Transplantation is not a an easy road of treatment but it certainly can be life saving. 

Personally, I do not have a family match and am someone who would need this service if I were to have my blood levels relapse. So while it might not sound fun to have to be a donor, joining the bone marrow registry is very quick and easy and could potentially save someone's life. One caveat is that potential donors needed must be between the ages of 18 and 60 and in general good health, with preference for individuals 44 YOA and under. This is based on medical research that shows younger donors are best for patients and provide the greatest chance for transplant success.

If you are interested in joining one of the events mentioned above, check out this webpage with the state-by-state listings. Or if you are not near one of these locations, check out Be The Match® where you can register online and they'll send you a kit or find a marrow drive near you.

Preparation. I like to feel like I'm prepared for something. But, as it turns out, life doesn't seem to come with a proper guidebook and it's only one's best guess that keeps us from getting stuck in this state of preparation anxiety...Not a problem you have? Well that's nice, and as it seems, not stressing over this is what I'm consistently trying to work on. 

You can't completely prepare and plan your way through life, if you honestly believe that you can, congratulations, you have a ridiculously predictable life. I'm not sure if I should be happy for you or sorry, because with the lack of unpredictability, how can you truly grow beyond your comfort zones? 

Does this sound like bull to you? 

Well, if it does, sorry. Because this theory is essentially the culmination of my life experiences up until this point. And while, there are certainly parts/moments of it that I wish I could go back and correct or "do better", this is my life as it is and I would not be the person that I am without it. 

Moving from this point, I am branching out and move into another area of life that I am both scared and excited to pursue, I have gone back to school and am trying to make a go of my yoga business. While I fear I could fail, the act of not trying to do it is even more unnerving. While I am no new version of Baron Baptiste, I hope to provide students and clients with genuine care and attention as a yoga therapist and teacher. I know that through my own experience that rest, relaxation, and gentle asana can prove far more healing than a vigorous heated practice, if you are only open to receiving it. Countering and finding balance between our heating and cooling practices is something that I have become more willing to accept. I sincerely realize that those little warning signs or red flags that we can either ignore or pay attention to is a skill that I’m still working on honing and would like to help others reap the benefits of becoming more intuitive to their self-care needs. I hope that my personal lessons in finding appropriate self-care and continuing to work through challenges can help in making me more connected to my students. I understand that for many issues there may be quick solutions and also choices that take more time and effort to work through. My goal is to be available to provide people going through medical issues the assistance to know that yoga is available to them and that through yoga therapy the practice can be uniquely catered to their needs.