Since then, life has gone on with its ups and downs and many changes in between. A year ago, I thought that I might be able to make it to Hawaii by Thanksgiving or before Christmas, with my blood levels elevated and stable. I never imagined the course of events that would unfold, the number of hours spent in the hospital, and the difficulties that dealing with such disease would entail.
I'd like to tell you that I feel amazing and totally perfect...but I'm not there yet. I never thought that a year later I'd still be working my way back to normal.
Dealing with my Aplastic Anemia is really day-to-day. Some days I feel like wonder woman and others I feel totally depleted. I've found that for me, it's a matter of finding a healthy balance between activity and rest, making sure to check-in before assuming that I can just "power through". I actually have to conserve energy at times and that has been really frustrating. When I've overdone the intensity or amount of activity I've paid for it, whether in passing out or feeling sick as a result. As an "intensity pusher" on myself, it has been a big lesson in self-regulation and modification. "Yes, I WANT to and I CAN...but I need to take a break." This has been all the more difficult in Hawaii, much more so than I was initially expecting. I generally want to try it all, all the time.
So while I may frequently check schedules and ask A. if we can do this marathon race or that half, I ultimately know the answer. Healing takes time. Rushing or testing my limits has just pushed me back and caused pain. While I don't want to admit it, I continue to work on patience and knowing that my levels are still working their way bak to normal. My hope for this next year of 2014-2015 in regards to fitness, is to continue to get stronger, more balanced, and healthier in my approach to fitness and life.